March Comes In Like Lion Out Like Lamb Saying

Hello, welcome, and thank you for choosing AvatarJack.com.

The saying is, "March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb."

What this old proverb is basically saying is that March will most likely begin with cold, nasty weather, and finish with weather that's more mild, more pleasant, and more lamb-like. 

You see, March looks like a winter month in its early stages, but down the home stretch, March is a month of great tanning and outdoor enjoyment opportunity. 

"What's that lion lamb saying about March?"

Of course, this saying will not apply to those residing in countries close to the equator, either Pole, and any other place that doesn't experience varied seasons. For this group, allow me to create a more appropriate March proverb:

(couldn't think of anything)

As I've told readers in the past, please bookmark the site and check daily for relevant, timely information. This site's mission is to game the Google Algorithm by predicting and covering the hot query of the day. 

Please try to type in your search terms as accurately as possible, though I've been known to meet the reader halfway. 

For example: Yesterday quite a few of you Googled things like "I think there is 28 days in febuary" and "didnt feb have 28," but still managed to land in the comforting arms of AvatarJack.com. 

Thanks again for visiting the site and be sure to check back tomorrow when we cover "what's the best way to prepare horse meat?"

February 29th? I Thought There Were Only 28 Days In February

Thank you for visiting AvatarJack.com. Please bookmark the site and use it as a reference. Our team is obsessed with the user experience (UX), and is always anticipating the needs of the most puzzled Google searcher. 

As for your search query, you're right—typically February has 28 days. This year there is an extra day, making today February 29th, 2012. Every few years they'll toss February an extra day to make up for a slight inefficiency on behalf of the Earth's rotation and something to do with the Northern Lights. 

"What are the Northern Lights?"

Each remaining month shall consist of its normal number of days. We appreciated your traffic, and please continue frequenting AvatarJack.com for all your online informational needs. We're employing a heavy SEO (Search Engine Optimization) approach to ensure that our paths will cross, even if you choose not to come directly to the site. 

Basically, this thing will grow to a point where if you type in any combination of letters and numbers into Google, Yahoo, Bing or Baidu (for my Chinese followers), you will land here. 

Feel free to get back to searching the internet, or doing whatever it is you were going to do after figuring out why February has an extra day. If you'd like to know when St. Patrick's Day 2012 is, please scroll down. Thank you. 

When Is St. Patrick's Day 2012?

St. Patrick's Day 2012 is on Saturday, March 17th, 2012. 

This (falling on a Saturday, that is) happens but once every 7 years or so. Saturday is arguably the best day of the week for this holiday to fall, considering most people are free to go to a parade or do something similarly celebratory. That same group of people are unlikely to have a work obligation the next day (Sunday), so they can sleep in if they end up staying up late. 

No work tomorrow bro

Yes, this may seem like an incredibly odd way to bring back AvatarJack.com after a long, somber layoff, but it's not without good reason. 

I've decided to turn this into an SEO-friendly site. Search Engine Optimization, that is.  From this point forward, until I mothball this thing again, I will be anticipating what the average Googler will type into that search box, in hopes of picking up some massive traffic.

And I mean massive. This method has been employed by the Huffington Post over the years, and they recently sold for close to $1,000,000,000. 

"Why does February have an extra day this year?"

Before you call me a sellout and tell me I've abandoned my base, just know that I don't care, the same way I didn't care before my days of highly-targeted search engine behavior anticipation. 

The Sands of Time Brought About a Sea of Change

The Sands of Time Brought About a Sea of Change

Literally. Thousands and thousands of years of pounding waves slowly but surely did the unthinkable—they transitioned trillions of tons of mountain into a pile of sand. And of course, this sand had to go somewhere. If we had it our way, the sand would have stayed in mountain form. Basically the mountain would be significantly more textured and almost impossible to climb. But the sand had a different plan; a blueprint of freedom.  

Free at last, free at last...

The substance formerly known as mountain wasted no time in leaving the scene of the stationary to assume a life of wayward bliss. When speaking of emancipation, there is a big event out there—no doubt about that. But I'm not talking human history here, although, a definitive look at the timeline of American Civil Rights is coming soon, so as not to ignore some major events and alienate a segment of my readership. I'll speak of injustice, of pain, of sorrow, of resiliency, of courage, of teamwork and of "fair," in the context of "Is Life Really Fair?" I'll entertain some ideas and hypothesize about a few things you may not be comfortable reading. Sudden, repetitive, nonrhythmic nervous tics will surface—or even develop—as my take on what really went down enters your mind. You'll grind your fingernails to a nub and facially spasm to the point of blindness. While writing something that physically cannot be read may seem in conflict to general authorial intuitions, it has to be done, and will, soon.

Don't let yourself get to this level

More importantly—from purely a geological perspective—those damned waves turned those damned mountains into trillions of tiny rocks; all independent from each other, free to come and go as they please. Shackles were removed and highly desirable real estate (that would eventually be referred to as "beaches") was created. Though the median income of my readers hovers around 15k/year and is highly dependent on the value of copper, I'm sure at least one of you has been to a beach and enjoyed the fruits of this hidden process. Pretty neat right? The rest of you likely go to those other "beaches"—the ones with stagnant water and tumor sized rocks that are about 100,000 years away from desirable sand status. As you sit in your lawn chair, sip on your Budweisers® and gaze out into the salt pond that your young kids think is an ocean, take a minute to soak in what's happening. Document those rocks with your disposable camera—they won't be around forever. They too shall turn to sand. They too shall enter the body of water of their choosing and raise its level, among other options.

You see, the sands of time not only have brought about a sea of change, they continue to bring change—right before our eyes. But sadly, we lack both the ability to perceive this change as it occurs and the desire to investigate and appreciate it. Maybe it's better that way; maybe this quiet quest is better left undocumented.

In closing, yes this is a new font. New font, same site™. Google® calls it Georgia, so I shall too. 

 

Civil War 150th Anniversary: Will History Repeat Itself?

Couple housekeeping notes: I'd like to formally apologize to my declining fan base for the general lack of output and enthusiasm here at avatarjack.com. I'm making pages on another section of the net, which has monopolized my time. This entry (as well as the last) is a near carbon copy of what was published on this other slice of net I'm vaguely referring to. I realize I've become a deadbeat dad blogger of sorts, so consider this one backed payment to be put towards diapers and formula. 

Also, those of you who think I've taken the sheers to the Unlikely Friendship of the Bee and Ant-- guess again. That magical tale of discovery and uncertainty will return soon enough. 

Today, on its sesquicentennial anniversary, let's all set aside a brief moment to reflect on the American Civil war. Let's ponder an America without this historic turning point, then quickly shift focus to a lighter subject, so as not to darken the day.

Considering their irreconcilable differences on a basic human rights issue, it was of surprise to none that the Confederates and Union waged war. Diplomacy was checked at the door and 700,000 casualties later, we stood as a slavery-free country-- at least legally.

In a world where opposing viewpoints coexist and slam together like colliding particles, it's a wonder we don't see more conflict; more war among civilians. Sure, there are countless civil wars going on around the world at this very moment, but I'm talking about right here in the Land of the Free. 

The untrained eye may see peace and harmony (or maybe that would be the blind eye), but a closer look will unearth the type of disagreement that leads to only one thing-- war.

Here are the three groups, within these States of Unity, that are most likely to lock horns in conflict, after existing in relative harmony for far too long. 

3. New Media vs. Old Media

The exponential growth of technology has widened the traditional gap between generations. Grandpa is still licking his index finger before turning the page of his jaundiced copy of Moby Dick, while his slick little grandson tornadoes through the world's information on his Ipad 2. 

Newspapers are well on their way to permanent extinction due to the informational access provided by our heroes of tech. This will anger paper mache aficionados, grumpy old men and newspaper editors alike, and may even incite a rush of violence against their attention deficient foes. 

Does the edge go to the New Media for their networking/organizational ability, or to the Old Media for their untapped rage created by their utter disgust for what the world has become?

2. Blue Collar vs. White Collar

Maybe America's working class has grown tired of the prosperity and occasional corruption of their starched shirt wearing, silk tie Double-Windsoring, hair parting and briefcase swinging counterparts.

Maybe America's upper crust has grown tired of the depressing nature and occasional laziness of their flannelly-fashioned, bolo-tie-for-special-event sporting, hard hat protected and lunch pail dragging counterparts. 

Working 40 standard hours-- plus 10 of OT at time and a half-- to earn what one CEO makes in a minute can certainly create a divide. Much of the anger will be coming from those wearing collars of blue, but the bosses are equally frustrated after years of fiscal sob stories and unwarranted promotion requests from their beat-up-Timberland wearing foot soldiers. 

3. Civil War Redux

As Civil War Commander-in-chief Abrahan Lincoln once proclaimed, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Considering this country is split down the middle on almost every topic of note, I think it's safe to say we're divided. Abe isn't a name like Nostradamus, so we take his foreboding words with a grain of salt, but should we be salting this a bit more? 

We call ourselves the United States, but the unity aspect is under review. The inflexible nature of the donkeys and elephants has brought us dangerously close to a  government shutdown. Violent rhetoric reigns supreme as we debate whether gays should be allowed to wed. We continue to divide and weaken as lesser countries close the once-considered-insurmountable gap. 

I ask that we give peace a chance before dropping the gloves over any of these issues. Sure, we have our differences, but in the end, a civil society cannot exist  without civility. Buy your gramps an ipod shuffle, give your janitor a real tie, and put a flower in the gun of your Republican friend's 38-- do not let history repeat itself dear readers.