Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Who Did Bachelor Give Rose To Last Night?

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, but an article by any other name would not be sweet at all, as our paths would never meet. 

Welcome Aboard, Hello, Happy Tuesdee, and Thank You for typing in "Who did bachelor give rose to last night?" in your search engine of choice. 

It's come to my attention that a final/finalizing rose was tendered by a wooer to a beautiful object of woo on last night's hit ABC show, The Bachelor. 

While I appreciate the massive traffic this query of great confusion is sure to draw, I'm afraid I've misrepresented myself. 

"How long do roses live?"

The toxification of the (above) rose represents the bitterness of the schism I've created between you and I, eager Bachelor results seeker. A recap I do not have; the recipient of the final rose, I do not know. One thing I do know: hunger & thirst for morning coffee (black, room temp) will soon end this fraudulent post. 

But why write an article about the results of a show that I haven't seen?

You'll have to cut me some slack here. As far as I can tell, Bachelor gets massive ratings, especially in the female demographic, which has been this site's white whale since its inception. 

"What is a white whale?"

Rather than pursuing the elusive female fanbase, I'll go anti-Captain Ahab and simply give up. 

Whoever was given the rose last night will spend the rest of her life with whoever gave her the rose, in all likelihood. 

Conversely, our paths shall never cross again, as this marks the end of my reality TV/Soap Opera coverage. 

Thank You, I'm Sorry & Good Day. 


  1. Can we please get a blog post commenting on the recent cancellation of HBO's new series, Luck?

  2. Thank you for your suggestion, RDDiRoma. I will certainly consider writing something about HBO's Luck, as I do enjoy horse quite a bit.