Friday, March 23, 2012

Why Did HBO Cancel Luck?

Nobody reads this pathetic website. Can we agree on that? Is that fair? I tried covering topics I thought would draw universal appeal. Topics of national—if not international—significance. To capture the zeitgeist, if I'm using the term correctly. To take America's temperature, check the reading, and cater to the results. I ended up missing my mark once again.

How do you hit the mark?

Maybe I just got greedy. I saw the swelling global population and tried to reel it in all at once. Maybe I should be targeting a smaller niche [nich]. Or, maybe I should get back to the site's original MO. Let's see how that works. I'll rename this The Avatar Jack Vanity Project, dump the SEO bit, and start covering topics that interest me. 


So Without Further Ado (adieu?): Why Did HBO Cancel Luck?

As any fan of premium TV or horses knows, HBO has canceled Luck, their show about the darkside of horse racing. Two ponies died during the filming of Season One, and one more majestic equine passed during the filming of Season Two, effectively ending the show. They filmed tons of racing scenes over this period, and experts say the rate of death was far less than that seen on "actual" racetracks. That is to say, racetracks where gamblers place bets on the outcome of the race. 

If I could race up to Mt. Pius for a brief moment, and enjoy the early signs of spring as I look down over you all: If filming a show about horse racing kills off less horses than "real" horse racing, why the outcry? Shouldn't we be praising HBO for figuring out a way to enjoy the ponies in a relatively safe way? If I'm a horse, wouldn't I rather go shoot some scenes for HBO, get trained by Nick Nolte, eat some carrots/hay and most likely not die? But before I get praised by PETA for this stance, let me get to my main point:

Why Do We Care When Horses Die?

Cows, deer, lambs, bison, sharks, whales, gators—salt em up, seer em on the grill, serve em up, pass the toothpicks, what's for dessert? When did we decide that it was taboo to eat the horse? Why can't I enjoy a nicely prepared Mustang Grinder without fear of prosecution? Why does horse meat have to go for $40-50/lb in Miami on the black market? Why can't I go to my local butcher and get a nice Thoroughbred Rib Roast or Filet o Barbaro? 

I think I might know why:

Awww

Awww


Awww

You see, the horse is a beautiful creature, so it gets treated differently than other animals. If it was a little smaller, a little chubbier, and a little grubbier, would we care if it died? Does anyone care about the livelihood of a donkey? In the time it's taken me to write this manifesto I've killed 5 donkeys. Please stop by this afternoon for my Daiquiri and Donkey Bash to kick off Spring 2012. 

Bloody Mare-y's?

If I could sum up this disaster of a post in one sentence: We don't eat horses because they look "cute."

And as for Luck: Those 3 horses did not die in vain and they should be praised for euthanizing that horrific show.

This site is intended purely for promotional and entertainment purposes. All information published herein is gathered from sources which are thought to be reliable, but the reader should not assume that the information is official or final. Coming posts are views of Avatar_Jack and Avatar_Jack alone. Views expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of Google ®. Avatar_Jack writes this under no duress, with no outside influence from a greater body, ie. puppet master. No horses or donkeys were killed while writing this piece. Does anyone know where I can get some fresh horse? 


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