Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.
After four glorious years of "second mouse" like perseverance, Knut, Germany's four-year-old celebrity polar bear, has gone the way of mouse number one.
The impossible dream of this site has always been to captivate the masses; to somehow, someway forge a bond between soccer moms and gangsters. I think we can all agree this dream remains just that, a dream. I've shown no signs of being able to pull this off, but the tides are about to turn. As the late, great Knute Rockne once said, "There is no need for me continuing unless I'm able to improve."
What can we learn from the untimely passing of our beloved Knut? What can I say about Knut that hasn't already been said about Barbaro? I can't help but flashback to the sudden death of America's favorite thoroughbred. Both admired by millions, but sadly, both were similarly transfixed to a carousel of greed.
Knut's brief time here on this blue marble was marred by an incessant hum of exploitation. He was a political pawn and an economic King. An estimated $25,000,000 was made off of Knut and his likeness, ranking him as Germany's most profitable entity since Dirk Nowitzki. Knut was deprived of a typical seal killing, igloo building life just so we humans could add a 1,598th wrinkle of entertainment. The Berlin Zoo turned what was supposed to blossom into the most powerful, ruthless predator on Earth, into a bottle-fed, croissant-eating dependent, incapable of operating in its natural habitat.
I hate to take the gloves off like this, but at times I will assume the role of voice for the voiceless. Given how far Germany has come as a nation, I trust they will take this as constructive criticism and not an act of war. I'd be more than happy to open up a stream of dialog with a German representative. A free exchange of ideas can only help things, and adding Europe's most prosperous economy to an already impressive stable of readers (USA, Canada, Hungary, China, United Arab Emirates) would be a giant step towards this site's global takeover.
Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Ladies and gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.
Unfortunately, I'm beginning to realize I missed my goal of unity yet again, but that's okay—count me as one less guy who profited from this tragedy; one less guy with his hands covered in blood.
After four glorious years of "second mouse" like perseverance, Knut, Germany's four-year-old celebrity polar bear, has gone the way of mouse number one.
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| How much do I owe you, @DennisCox? |
What can we learn from the untimely passing of our beloved Knut? What can I say about Knut that hasn't already been said about Barbaro? I can't help but flashback to the sudden death of America's favorite thoroughbred. Both admired by millions, but sadly, both were similarly transfixed to a carousel of greed.
Knut's brief time here on this blue marble was marred by an incessant hum of exploitation. He was a political pawn and an economic King. An estimated $25,000,000 was made off of Knut and his likeness, ranking him as Germany's most profitable entity since Dirk Nowitzki. Knut was deprived of a typical seal killing, igloo building life just so we humans could add a 1,598th wrinkle of entertainment. The Berlin Zoo turned what was supposed to blossom into the most powerful, ruthless predator on Earth, into a bottle-fed, croissant-eating dependent, incapable of operating in its natural habitat.
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| Berlin Zoo: TEAR DOWN THAT WALL! |
I hate to take the gloves off like this, but at times I will assume the role of voice for the voiceless. Given how far Germany has come as a nation, I trust they will take this as constructive criticism and not an act of war. I'd be more than happy to open up a stream of dialog with a German representative. A free exchange of ideas can only help things, and adding Europe's most prosperous economy to an already impressive stable of readers (USA, Canada, Hungary, China, United Arab Emirates) would be a giant step towards this site's global takeover.
Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Ladies and gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.
Unfortunately, I'm beginning to realize I missed my goal of unity yet again, but that's okay—count me as one less guy who profited from this tragedy; one less guy with his hands covered in blood.
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| Rest in Peace, Knut. You will be missed. |
Knut will never be forgotten. Good night, sweet ursine prince.
ReplyDeleteMindless readers of Avatar_Jack, please note that I, Dennis Cox, am the man responsible for the artistic wizardry above - the clip art depicting two mice swimming in a bucket.
ReplyDeleteTo the man himself, the host of this worldly site, I have contacted my legal team concerning your prohibited usage of my work. Expect to be hearing from my sharks shortly.
Call off the dogs, Mr. Cox. In lieu of traditional payment, i've sent a sizable donation to the Knut Memorial Fund, in your name.
ReplyDeleteBut... if a battle is what you're looking for. Bring it on. I'll put this site on lockdown, tighten things up around here.
This was pretty good. Avatar Jack, when can we get a blog post about Lemon Party?
ReplyDeleteI'm a method writer, Ryan, so I'll have to get a little more "field" work done before I write about that subject.
ReplyDelete